Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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