Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
