so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
