I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
