hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
