handjob tips. give me some.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
