Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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