Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
