I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
