Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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