True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
