It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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