I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
