my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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