I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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