Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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