In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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