why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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