For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
