so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
