I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
jump out the window naked night went bad
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