I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
