next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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