I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
