She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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