I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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