I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
