make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
