Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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