I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
A+ Viking dick
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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