So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
