I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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