jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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