i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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