spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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