I puked a lego.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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