Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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