just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
