big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize