There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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