i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
