You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
