He disabled his match.com account in front of me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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