his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
