Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
