I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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