He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
