Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
