I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize