Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
