This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
