i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
