i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
