I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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