Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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