Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
