you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
